Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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