Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Randomize
