Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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