And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
