Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You are a genius and a whore.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
