From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
