You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
