Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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