But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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