Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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