I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
