think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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