My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
