he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
