Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
