Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
