just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
