guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
