The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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