My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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