omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i black out too much to be "responsible"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
