garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
