I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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