He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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