im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
