it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize