So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
