How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
