Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
