You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
