So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
