if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
