you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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