I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
