i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
