I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
