awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
