when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
