Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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