Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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