that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
