He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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