Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
