Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
