Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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