He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
