Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
handjob tips. give me some.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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