this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize