I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
