sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
